Online Dating: Is it better to pay?

I’ve been wondering lately if eHarmony, with its romantic commercials full of happy couples with blindingly white teeth, is really any better than OkCupid, a free site to which I have subscribed since May. As the eHarmony contract winds down, here is where it stands:

Pricing:

While I got a smokin’ deal, eHarmony is expensive, between $50 and $60 a month. This lends to a more polished audience, which is nice because preppy nerd-boys are sexy (Mmm Engineers) but I’m broke as a joke and am no longer allowed to be shallow on this front. Higher paying jobs does mean more education, nicer cars and clothes and nicer dates but… money isn’t everything.

Pacing:

eHarmony likes for people to take their time to get to know each other. If you are not a small child, elderly person or cuddly critter, patience is not a virtue I possess. This has bred a dirty little habit of blowing off guys I’d actually like to meet. Why? Because I can, silly! It takes sixteen years just to get through to them with open communication, why not make them wait a few more days? OkCupid, on the other hand, if I like someone I can see them within a couple of days.

Quality:
eHarmony guys are better looking, more cultured and more educated but that does not make them any more interesting. OkCupid gives me access to guys who are quirky and fun and maybe a little on the sardonic side. Of course, eHarmony has connected me with men who have the respect and decency to let  me know they do not plan to see me again. Even if spoken rejection is brutal, closure is kind of nice.

Meanwhile, OkCupid guys run a higher risk of vanishing or just being a total creeper.

Stability:
eHarmony guys have so far been more aggressive and talked more about long-term things. Because of this, it’s easier to keep their interest because they actually know what they want. OkCupid guys have largely been the type that answers the “What are you looking for on here?” with vagaries like, “Oh it just depends on the person.”

So far, eHarmony has been more promising but remains less effective than meeting men in the real world. Maybe it’s the recent brushes with fame but the idea that I could someday be on a commercial: twirling around, smiling and touting the site’s disturbingly accurate compatibility system, is alluring. I’ll be in my trailer if you need me.