I have been sick for the better part of a week. Not because of a cold or stomach bug or anything reasonable. I’ve been sick because of dating.
Up until recently, I was sick a lot. Digestive problems, mood disorders, fatigue, weight gain, lack of sex drive. Life was hard. The “divorce diet” revealed a host of food intolerances and allergies. It transformed my life for the better. Thanks to the shift, I am a new person and the experience has led to new loves like sushi, Ethiopian dishes, hummus, almond butter, coconut oil, soymilk, salmon, asparagus, and so on…
With the rise in food allergies and intolerances (or at least the knowledge about them) in recent years, I know I’m not alone.
No matter how careful you are, food intolerances makes eating out dangerous to your health. It’s difficult to know what ingredients are making their way onto your plate and it’s even more difficult to prevent contamination on otherwise safe foods. The hardest part is explaining it all to the date. There is nothing like the look in a man’s eyes when he does not understand and is overwhelmed after just a few minutes with you. Food sensitivities can make even the most laid back girl seem like high maintenance.
But your health comes first. You have to protect yourself, which means learning to explain your sensitivities up front in a polite and simple manner. Or at least waiting to dine together until you feel like the guy can understand.
On the bright side, this dating handicap filters out lame, inconsiderate guys. The guys who actually care ask “where can you eat?” and want to truly understand. It’s flattering and makes for a relaxing and fun evening. The rest feign patience, tolerance and interest and it’s so unattractive. Dating with food intolerances brings new meaning to the phrase “trust your gut.”
So be vigilant. Speak up (politely, of course) or else you may feel like I do today: My back and neck are inflamed and achy; I am extremely fatigued and my entire digestive system hurts; my torso is swollen; my fingers, toes and nose are numb; my vision is blurry; I can’t think straight; I mumble. Sometimes I lash out at the people who love me. Basically, I’ve turned into a zombie.
I will have to nix the dinner dates (and the girl’s nights) for a while so that I can fully recover. Back to carrots and hummus, almonds and chocolate, salmon and salad. Back to quick coffee dates and at-home movie marathons with the girls. My stomach and my heart will be so relieved.
A note to all men interested in a sickie like me: I’m sorry if my diet makes you uncomfortable or in any way inconveniences you. No matter how handsome, funny or articulate you are, my health is more important than your perception of me. Period.
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As someone with no allergies who dated and then married a man with a TON of Allergies, this article spoke to me.
When we first started dating and he told me about all the different things he was allergic to (soy, dairy, walnuts, lima beans, aspartame, almonds, etc.) I jumped into his diet with abandon. I chucked all the diet pop, got natural peanut butter, started cooking with olive oil instead of butter, got rice milk, and read every single ingredient package when I went shopping twice.
He told me that no other person had ever put in that much effort for him, but I would want that so I gave that to him.
The bad side is we rarely go out to eat and when we do he does get sick 90% of the time. On the plus side by adopting his diet I lost like 20 lbs.