This is part of a series called, “Why Niceness and Dating Do Not Mix.”
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During the course of one night, recently, I was chatted up by two separate men. At some point in both dialogues, each one was interrupted by a blatant cockblock. No, it wasn’t the classic, handsome, bullying interloper featured in most romantic comedies. Not for this girl… It was an old (possibly homeless) man in a power wheelchair and an aging, [extremely drunk] pianist, respectively.
What Not To Do
The first interruption, the man engaged with us both only to keep an eye on the hem of my dress. It was windy and his darting eyes proved that, despite his inane chatter. The man who was chatting with me said little and did nothing. It was left up to me to scare him off. I did so, with more politeness than this creepy ogler was due, and we quickly left the area.
The whole scene was a huge turn-off. It wasn’t even the old, handicapped man who had soured my mood; it was the guy who had originally sat beside me to talk. He just sat there like a bump on a log when one stern glance or well-placed comment would have both staked a claim and run the man off instantly.
Men: Inaction here, as well as when it comes time to ask for a phone number, a date, or grab a kiss, is the surest way to botch things with a woman. We want a man who can protect us, whether it be from a cockroach or a creepy, ramblin’ man.
What To Do
The second interruption was a few hours later. I was seated at a local bar, chatting privately with a man. After a while, an intoxicated man passed by us. With his eyes on me, he leaned in to whisper something. Both the guy I was talking to and myself looked over, curious. The interloper took this as an invitation to interrupt.
As he chatted, the guy I was with was nice about it. He remembered him from a local entertainment spot and they chatted. The guy offered us free cover and eventually – unfortunately – sidled up between both of us. When the creeper asked if we were together, he told the creeper, “Actually, we’ve been married about three years now!” He winked at me and smiled. Charming. It was an amusing site until the creeper put his hand on my shoulder for one second too long.
Let me tell you, one second was one second too long.
The guy I was with noticed my discomfort and immediately grabbed the guy’s hand, gently pulling it away from me for a firm handshake. This ended the dialogue and encouraged the creeper to exit politely.
Men: Even if you’re not as smooth as my friend, it is important to be receptive and friendly to people that attempt to interrupt. Cockblocks will sniff out fear in a heartbeat. If you feel threatened, do not disappear into the shadows! Speak up, stay a part of the discussion and be seen. If they cross a line? Be firm but gentle, stand your ground and be ready to ask them to leave, point blank.
Final Thoughts
If you take ownership of the situation, your presence becomes commanding. The woman you are with will feel safer and respect you for it, whether the situation requires a rescue – as was needed above – or just a confident show of interest.
For more tips and suggestions on how to ward off interruptions while flirting, check out:
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