You know what would make dating really easy?
Besides a crystal ball, the only thing I can think of is a Universal Code of Conduct. A simple rulebook that everyone knows, understands and respects. Obviously, many dating experts and authors have tried to use rules to simplify dating but you know what happens?
People get tired.
They feel restricted and burdened and they do something crazy to buck the system! Or they meet someone who makes breaking the rules worthwhile and they wonder why they ever used them. Or they miss great opportunities because they’ve let someone else determine the “right” way to act.
Why Rules are Appealing
Our rational mind enjoys rules, of course. Especially after a painful breakup. The rules make one feel less vulnerable. Love can be analyzed and minimized and categorized by the rational mechanics of our “high road” thinking but it can never be controlled. Love is a “low road” activity, much like hunger, breathing and all the other emotions that complicate and enrich life.
But wouldn’t it be nice if there were some rules that everyone HAD to consent to? Rules of common decency. Rules that make a person feel respected even while they are being rejected. Yeah, that would be nice…
What Matters to You?
My challenge to you today is to list the rules that you wish everyone would follow in dating, whether they like you or not. These rules can relate to communication and follow-up, timing, rejection, commitment or anything else that otherwise frustrates you as you date. Write as little or as much as you want. Anything goes?
You know you’ve got an opinion but are you ready to share? Please join the discussion by posting your thoughts below!
{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }
I only have one "rule" (unwritten, of course) and it's a dealbreaker: If the words "like" or "you know" are in EVERY sentence, done for. I'm an adult now and it seems that lack of vocabulary can be annoying.
Money. Love it, worship it, earn it.